One answer: It depends. Often it hinges on one key factor. And yet—sometimes it’s rapid and relatively simple: Sometimes, big changes ensue when someone makes a new decision— that they will now look honestly at their behavior, and their attitudes, after an extended period of denying or minimizing or rationalizing them to themselves and others. They decide, in a newly determined way: I will work on myself.

The greatest peace is a sense of ease and spaciousness somewhere inside you—rather than finding the perfect conditions in the world, having your ducks all in a row. This inner quality of equanimity involves trusting the process; i.e.: that most times, a difficult situation is workable. It’s also trusting that you can ride the ups and downs, the waves of experience, when things go sideways in a big way.

The internal world of the human being is like an orchestra, or a democracy with lots of coalitions vying for power and control. We can feel generous and stingy; kind and mean; confident and fearful; calm and restless, all within the same 20 or 30 minutes. All of us have lots of different sounds blaring inside at times—and often, no one conducting the orchestra.

What does it mean to be well mentally and emotionally? It means being free of mental and emotional patterns that prevent you from living the way you want to live, living according to your values. Note- it does not mean being free of emotional pain. Feeling sad, anxious, lonely, angry and empty are factory-installed features for human beings. Being 'well' is a capacity to have those feelings- without being significantly thrown off your path.